There is an upward trend in the number of marital discords being witnessed in Kashmir valley. Horrifying details of infidelity, maltreatment and ghosting do the rounds in the social circles of Kashmir. Strangely enough, marital discord are more common in educated families than in uneducated families. Education should equip people with the knowledge to understand each other, to understand marriage in itself and to understand the rights and responsibilities of your life partner.
Lawyers are kept busy with divorce cases. Alimony, custody – these words were unheard of in Kashmiri society. But now these words are being discussed more frequently. Trouble brews up right from the first day of the marriage. Mother and the sister of the groom feel the bride now has complete control of the house and this feeling creates incurable jealousy which repeatedly manifests into abusing, shouting, quarreling and brawling. Usually, it is the female folk which instigates the husband against his wife and the other way round.
Materialism has added a new spice to the whole thing. If both the husband and wife are earning independently with a steady pay there is least likelihood that there would be subordination or obedience of any type. That is one reason why the divorce cases of female doctors, teachers, professors, advocates is on the higher side. When either partner feels that they are financially independent they do not feel the need to be subordinate to the other partner. This affects the delicate balance that entails the husband-wife relationship.
The disputes which were resolved by the elders of both families amicably are now resolved in courts. Heavy fee paid to lawyers and almost every case ends in divorce. Divorces are so common nowadays and it was not the case a few decades ago.
Both men and women, it seems, now like their jobs more than their life partners. Values have undergone a massive change. Before setting out to marry both husband and wife must undergo proper counseling about their respective rights and responsibilities. Let us hope for fewer divorces.
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