Have you noticed that people who arouse anger, hurt, or resentment, are the only ones that deserve neither our memory? The problem is that while we know that no one’s worth our peace and that others’ attitudes should not reach us, we allow some bad feelings to lodge in our souls, leaving us sick, unbelieving, and unbalanced. Life is full of relationships that did not work out. And we could let go of it, forget it quickly and move on. But not. We shed unnecessary tears and waste our feelings with those who do not deserve it. Any situation contrary to our principles or that capable of destroying our field of expectations generates an absurd physical and emotional exhaustion. This in addition to doing us harm, involves us in a feeling of inferiority that makes us discredit people.
I believe that at this point in the text, your heart is already formulating opposing arguments to justify the bad feelings you carry: “I have the right to feel anger because I have been wronged” or “I deserve to hate such a person in the face of such treachery.” The problem is that these justifications are as illusory as they are dangerous since there is a great difference between deserving to feel something. In fact, between us, this “I deserve” story is an outlet for the wrong attitudes. No one says “I deserve to diet,” “I deserve to forgive,” or “I deserve to go without traveling this year.” Whenever we say “I deserve” is to justify some wrong attitude that we will practice. As if the brain worked like reward validation and bonuses.
The great balcony of life is not to waste feelings with those who do not deserve it. Understand that there are people who do not deserve even the anger felt by them, who will say nostalgia. Understand: betrayal, lies, and offenses reveal the character of the aggressor rather than the aggressor. Do not waste your feelings, be they good or bad, with whom you do not deserve them. Go your way, abandon the heavy burdens and be free. As Bukowski said: “There is nothing that teaches more than reorganizing after failure and moving on. When some things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. I dare say that infidelity is one of the worst defects of the human being since the lack of principles opens the door to worse ones like lies, the lack of love, and falsehood. Being unfaithful is much more than betraying. It is hurting those who, besides loving you, one day, trusted you. Neither in Literature, the theme is no longer presented. From Shakespeare to Jorge Amado, betrayals were themes of various works and, curiously, were based on revenge, lack of love, and death. There are various forms of betrayal, and in all of them, there is cowardice without size involved. There are love, social, family, and professional betrayals, and in all of them, the consequences are definitive. Betrayal has never been slip or chance. Whoever betrays, does know the evil that will cause in the other and the consequences of the action. The problem is that the traitor prefers to satisfy a momentary desire to control himself not to commit it. Drummond said that “in adultery, there are at least three people who are wrong.”
It is foolish to believe that betrayal happens only in loving relationships. Disguised as neglect, omission, or fear, does at work, in relationships, or in social life, relationships are maintained by the reciprocity that surrounds them. When it breaks, the sensation is of an immense emptiness in the soul. Betrayal presents itself in several ways: we betray a friend when we fail to warn him of the danger that surrounds him. We cheat when we prefer to say ‘I warned’ instead of helping him get up. When you know of the evil that will come upon him but prefers to “not get involved.”We betray ourselves when, out of fear of loneliness, we get into abusive relationships. When we neglect our own dreams and we stop living them believing we do not deserve them. Do not betray, betray, or deceive yourself. Remember that betrayal hurts because it never comes from a stranger. Trust is not given overnight, but it can be taken in the blink of an eye. John Maxwell, the author of more than sixty books on leadership, said just this: “Do not expect others to trust you if you know you can betray that trust. Work your character before working your relationships “. One piece of advice: do not betray and do not betray yourself. Before any action, remember that betrayal only hurts because it never comes from a stranger.
When we become disappointed with people, because they have misused us, we learn to distance ourselves from those who do wrong. When we are surprised by the generosity and kindness of true people, we learn that love heals, saves, and enlightens. So many people come and go out of our lives over time, and so many meetings we have and will still have to face. And we are getting more and more filled with memories, and experiences, magnifying our essence, bringing you new and intense feelings. It will not always be good, we will not always get out of the good things in relationships we have, but we can always come out stronger and safer than we want or not. Some people are real tests in our lives. They test our patience, our ability to keep ourselves in harmony, to keep ourselves balanced. They test our moods, our willingness to listen, to pity us, to pity us. They even test our faith and our belief in ourselves, in our principles, and in all that we have within us. Because it is about people who have not learned to look beyond themselves. Certain individuals, in turn, however difficult it may be to understand at first, come into our lives to convey to us lessons that we will take forever with us. Sometimes sad lessons, sometimes lessons of love. When we disappoint people, because they have misused us, misrepresented our words, belittled our actions, or hurt our dignity, we have learned to distance ourselves from those who do wrong. When we are surprised by the generosity and kindness of true people, we learn that love heals, saves, and enlightens. And it is precisely these enlightened beings, who bring us lessons of love, the gifts with which life presents us so that we do not give up believing in the strength of good, of good, of truth. The magical encounters along the way make everything less difficult, less painful, and less dense. They make everything more colorful, easier to overcome, and to be lived in all its intensity. Nothing less than the gratitude we have for these people is what will feed us the best we carry in here.
As you can see, instead of lamenting the mismatches that come to destabilize our paths, we must also take something good out of these moments, because we can always learn, both with those who suck and with whom they are added. What matters is what we have inside us, what is most precious, and what keeps us from lingering in the sorrowful sorrow of our soul, love the size of your dreams, love without borders, without blemishes, love that alleviates and transforms. It is in this way that the best of each one remains in our hearts, making us stronger and happier, whatever there is. Reborn every day. Give light to my most secret dreams. Turn tears into diamonds. Lift the sword of my determination and fight against the difficulties. Run after yes even if the world screams no. Make my virtue my shield against the shadows of the world. Count on me in difficult times. Never forget who I am and what I came to do in this world. See the reflection of what I decided to be.
Sajad Ul Hassan is a regular columnist of Good Morning Kashmir. He can be reached at sajadhassan316@gmail.com