by Muzamil Rafiq
Learning to shoot guns never made a man. Staring contests with friends and undressing women on the streets never made a man. There can be no peace in this world until we teach men to hold books as preciously as they are taught to hold back their tears. Mothers, allow your sons to cry. Fathers, ask your sons to lower their gaze.
We have failed as a society. Each time a woman is violated and justice remains out of reach, it is a glaring reminder of our collective failure. The tears shed, the silent screams, and the unspoken trauma are not just the burden of those who have suffered; they are a stain on all of us. We live in a world that claims to value justice, yet time and time again, we let down the very people who need it the most.
Sorry, sister, that we couldn’t protect you. Sorry that our systems, designed to deliver justice, turned a blind eye to your pain. Sorry that your voice, which should have been heard with compassion and urgency, was drowned out by apathy, doubt, and blame. You deserved to feel safe, to be believed and to see those who wronged you held accountable.
Instead, you were met with judgement, delays, and excuses. The truth is justice for victims of rape is often more of a promise than a reality. Courtrooms, which should be sanctuaries of fairness, sometimes become arenas of humiliation where victims are made to relive their trauma while being questioned about their character, clothing, or choices. Our laws might be written with good intentions, but they are often enforced by a system that is slow, biased, and indifferent to the suffering of survivors.
‘Be a man,’ they said, ‘but no one taught us that manhood begins with kindness.’ Not with loud voices, not with power, not with fear in someone else’s eyes.
A real man is the one who becomes a shelter, not a storm. Today we must admit it. As Brothers we failed. As friends we failed. As teachers, as sons, and as a society of men, we failed the women who trusted us to make this world feel safe. How unfortunate it is that our sisters walk with fear in their hearts, our mothers pray before every journey and our daughters learn caution before they even learn freedom.
The pain deepens knowing that danger is not always outside in the streets; sometimes it hides behind familiar faces, inside homes, inside blood relations, and inside the silence of people who knew but never spoke. A woman should never have to choose between her dreams and her safety. She should never feel unsafe in schools, institutions, workplaces, or even in the homes of her own relatives.
Respecting women is not a favour. it is the bare minimum of humanity. If your strength cannot protect, then it is not strength. If your words cannot comfort, then they are empty. And if your presence brings fear instead of peace, then you have failed as a man. The strongest men are not those who control women, but those who stand beside them when the world turns cruel. A real man lowers his gaze, raises his character, protects dignity, and speaks against injustice even when the whole crowd stays silent. Because manhood is not proven by muscles or anger; it is proven by how gently you treat the women of this world.
Until every sister walks freely at night, until every mother sleeps without worry. until every daughter feels safe in her own home. Our society cannot call itself civilised. We do not need better excuses. We need better men.
The author can be mailed at muzamilwani131@gmail.com
