by Ifra Farooq
In Kashmir, there is a question many young people hear soon after completing their studies: Ab aage kya? It sounds like a simple question. Most people probably ask it because they care. But when you are already worried about your future, hearing it again and again can start feeling less like a question and more like pressure.
Sometimes, after finishing your studies, you meet someone and before they even ask how you are doing, they ask, Job lag gayi?Exam diya?Aage kya plan hai? They may not mean to hurt you. But when you yourself don’t have a clear answer, it can be difficult to keep answering the same questions.
There is this idea that by the time we reach our twenties, we should have everything figured out. A degree, a good job, financial independence and a proper plan for the future. And when we don’t have these things, we sometimes start wondering, Am I falling behind?
For many young people in Kashmir, this pressure is not easy to handle. Job opportunities are limited, and government jobs are still seen as one of the safest options. Every year, thousands of educated young people prepare for competitive exams. Some succeed. Many don’t. And some continue trying for years.
The difficult thing is that failing an exam doesn’t always feel like just failing an exam. You may have spent months studying for it. You may have stayed away from things you wanted to do because you thought, this time, maybe it will work , So when the result isn’t what you hoped for, it can hurt more than people realise.
You start thinking: Maybe I’m not good enough, maybe everyone else is moving ahead and I’m still here. But we forget something important: not everyone is starting from the same place.
Some people have financial support from their families. Some have responsibilities at home. Some have someone who guides them when they are confused. Some have the freedom to try different things. Others don’t.
Some people know what they want to do when they are 20. Others are 25 or 26 and still trying to figure it out. And honestly, that doesn’t mean they have failed. We just don’t always see the whole story behind someone’s success.
Social media makes this even harder. You open Instagram and see someone clearing an exam, getting a job, starting a business or finishing another degree. You see their happy picture and the congratulations underneath it. But you don’t see the attempts that didn’t work. You don’t see the rejection emails, the difficult days, the uncertainty or the nights when they also wondered whether things would ever work out.
After seeing enough of these success stories, you can start feeling as if everyone is moving forward except you. Maybe this is something we don’t talk about enough,how all this pressure actually feels. A person can be worried about their career, money and future and still hear Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I know that sometimes people say it with good intentions. But sometimes it isn’t what we need to hear. Sometimes we don’t need another piece of advice.
We just need someone to sit with us and ask, What is actually worrying you? Sometimes the hardest part is not the uncertainty itself, but feeling that you have to hide it. You may smile when someone asks about your future, even when you have spent the night worrying about it. You may say, In sha Allah, something will work out, while quietly wondering when it will.
What does Islam teach us about difficult times? For a young Muslim, faith can give a different way of looking at uncertainty. The Qur’an reminds us that Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. (Qur’an 2:286) This doesn’t mean that difficult things won’t happen. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel tired, disappointed or lost. It reminds us that hardship does not mean Allah has forgotten us.
The Qur’an also says: Indeed, with hardship comes ease. (Qur’an 94:5) Sometimes we see that ease quickly. Sometimes we don’t. A door may close and we may not understand why. Something we wanted may be delayed. A plan we were sure about may not work out. Later, we may realise that life took us somewhere we had not planned to go. We may not understand the reason at the time. But not understanding it doesn’t mean there is no wisdom in it.
Islam also teaches us not to constantly compare ourselves with people who seem to have more than us. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: Look at those who are below you and do not look at those who are above you. (Sahih Muslim)
That feels especially relevant today. We are constantly looking at other people’s achievements, while knowing very little about what their journey actually looked like. Maybe we need to change the way we speak to young people. Instead of always asking, When will you get a job?, maybe we can ask, What do you want to do? Instead of saying, Everyone else is ahead of you, maybe we can remind them that life doesn’t work on the same timetable for everyone. And instead of looking at an unemployed young person and assuming they are not doing enough, maybe we should remember that some people are trying much harder than we can see.
Your twenties are not a deadline. You are allowed to be confused. You are allowed to change your plans. You are allowed to try something, realise it isn’t for you and start again. A delayed career does not mean a failed career. A rejected application does not decide your worth. And taking longer than someone else does not mean you have been left behind. For the young people of Kashmir, perhaps the question should not always be, When will you succeed?
Sometimes it can simply be, ‘How can I support you while you’re trying?’ Because behind someone who looks confused, unemployed or unsuccessful may simply be a young person who is still trying to find their way, carrying worries that others cannot see and trying much harder than they realise. They may not have everything figured out yet, but that does not mean they are falling behind. Their journey is still unfolding, and perhaps they simply need a little more time, understanding and faith in the process.
The author can be mailed at meerifra2222@gmail.com
