by Ravinder Kaur
In today’s private schooling system, parents invest money, hope, and dreams into their child’s education. They seek transparency, structure, and accountability, and rightly so. A school must function with planning, clarity, and fairness. But somewhere between concern and control, a line is being crossed. There is a vast difference between parental involvement and parental interference. Involvement builds a child. Interference weakens the system that builds the child.
Many parents genuinely want updates about curriculum, progress, and teaching methods. These are fair expectations. Education is a shared responsibility. Dialogue between school and home is not only necessary; it is healthy. The challenge begins when personal preferences start overriding institutional policies. A school operates on a collective structure. It cannot function on individual rulebooks designed according to each family’s comfort. Yet increasingly, schools face situations where parents attempt to redesign curriculum priorities, question academic strategies without understanding the larger vision, or demand personalised adjustments beyond reasonable limits.
Sometimes small groups are formed. Discussions circulate without complete information. Assumptions turn into mistrust. Ironically, the same parent may praise a teacher personally, saying, “You teach very well,” and later express dissatisfaction before management. At times management is blamed before teachers, and teachers are blamed before management. This triangular communication weakens trust, and trust is the foundation of any educational system. Schooling is not limited to question-and-answer learning. It is about discipline, character formation, emotional balance, social adaptability, and resilience. When a child is corrected for coming late to assembly, it is not punishment. It is discipline. When a child is guided firmly, it is not harshness. It is grooming.
Discipline begins with small routines. Respect begins with punctuality. Responsibility develops when children are allowed to face minor corrections and learn from them. If a child is overpampered at home and teachers are restricted from guiding behaviour, how will that child learn balance? There are also demands shaped by convenience. Expectations about timing, transportation, classroom language, or routine structures sometimes become points of conflict. Some parents even feel that paying fees gives them the authority to control institutional functioning. But education is not a purchased service. It is a shared responsibility built on mutual respect.
Another subtle trend can be observed. At times, interference does not arise purely from concern but from the desire to demonstrate personal knowledge. Some parents possess partial understanding of educational concepts, policies, or methods. Knowledge is always respectable, and every individual’s awareness deserves acknowledgement. However, knowledge that works well within a personal home setting may not automatically align with a structured institutional framework. Schools function through collective planning, research based approaches, and systematic implementation. When small technical points are repeatedly highlighted, not to support but to assert capability, dialogue shifts from collaboration to competition. The focus slowly moves away from the child and toward proving competence. Respecting parental knowledge is important. Imposing individual viewpoints on an organised system is not.
At times it feels as though while schools are educating children, there is also a growing need to educate parents about the philosophy of schooling itself. This does not mean that all parents interfere. On the contrary, many parents are cooperative, respectful, and supportive. They trust the institution and strengthen it silently. However, during moments when institutional support is most needed, these balanced voices often remain invisible, while louder objections dominate the atmosphere. Modern schools are not rigid institutions of the past. Teaching methods have evolved. Emotional well-being is prioritised. Corporal punishment is widely rejected. Teachers undergo professional development. Systems are becoming increasingly child-friendly. Yet despite these positive developments, mistrust continues to grow.
It is worth asking, if a child must grow only according to parental comfort, what then is the purpose of school? What is the purpose of exposure to diverse personalities, structured discipline, shared responsibility, and social learning?
A classroom is not a private tutoring room designed for one child’s preferences. It is a community. Within that community, children learn patience, cooperation, adaptability, and accountability. They learn that the world does not always bend to personal convenience.
When parents and schools function as partners, children flourish. When they function as opposing forces, children receive conflicting messages. If a school promotes discipline but a parent dismisses it as unnecessary, the child learns inconsistency. If teachers are discouraged from correcting behaviour, the child loses an opportunity for character growth. Children do not grow in comfort alone. They grow through structure, discipline, guidance, and sometimes mild discomfort. The goal of education is not to produce children who are protected from every correction but individuals who are capable, emotionally balanced, socially responsible, and resilient.
Parents and schools are not competitors in shaping a child’s future. They are co-creators of that future. A healthy education system requires trust. Trust that educators act with intention. Trust that management works within structure. Trust that correction is not criticism but care.
In the end, education is not about control. It is about cultivation. It is not about winning arguments. It is about shaping character. A child stands between two powerful influences, home and school. When those two hands pull in different directions, the child feels the strain. When those two hands hold together, the child feels secure. Perhaps the real wisdom of modern parenting lies not in controlling the system, but in strengthening the partnership.
Because the child we are shaping today will one day step into a world that will not adjust to personal preference. What will support that child then is not comfort alone, but character. And character grows where trust, structure, and cooperation exist together.
You place a pen in my hands.
yet wish to decide what I must write.
Kaur stands holding it, silently questioning why.
You give me wings to fly.
yet you have already chosen the direction for my flight.
You ask me to keep smiling always.
yet you want to narrate my story yourself.
Author is an educator, poet, and writer. She can be mailed at rommykaur099@gmail.com.
