by: Qysar Ul Islam Shah
Pampering is just making a person as comfortable as possible and giving them whatever they want. The word pamper originally meant to “cram with food” It is really difficult to deal with the pampered child, they become moody and demanding. It is being witnessed that those kids who are pampered used to take everything for granted. They fall into the clutches of dependency which later makes them hated at the age of adulthood. Parents make the mistake when they pamper in the name of love. They feel everything they do is right and have no consequences. They become addicted of doing unpleasant actions which makes them hated. They feel that come what may but their demand must remain the same.
Pampering creates weakness because children develop the belief that others should do everything for them. Avoid pampering is not an opportunity to shame or blame your child. This is an opportunity to kindly but firmly allow them to develop the skills they will need to survive in this world. Pampering a child too much could be a result of parents’ frustration. People who have difficult childhoods tend to overprotect their children. In most of the families I have seen parents offer their cell phones, laptops, tabs, etc to their children at an early age to pamper them which finally leads them hated and naughty. Some parents want to give their children everything they didn’t have themselves as children.
Some specialists believe that a pampered child becomes a weak adult. An adult who is incapable of making decisions and who fails in the face of pressure was mostly pampered as a child during childhood. Pampered child usually don’t know the value of things because their upbringing takes in a different way. They are convinced that the world revolves around them. They get used to in receiving spite of giving anything.
Another problem of the pampered child is their inability to act. Whenever they face a problem at school or feel pressure, they don’t know how to react. They act with aggression when frustrated that is where the situation of physical aggression by children on parents occurs. Pampered children in many cases may suffer from anxiety, mood swings, and low self-esteem. They cannot accept failures because of excessive affection.
Children who are pampered create a world of theirs leading to total erosion of their thinking ability. Pampered children take everything for granted. They perceive people without money, shabby clothes, etc as inferior and stray. As a parent, it is very important to raise respectable and contentious individuals. When we pamper our children, we remove the inherent lessons and teachings that allow for the formation of strong and independent individuals. It has been mostly observed from various modes like print and electronic media that children indulge in various unpleasant activities like addiction, excessive use of gadgets, and roaming like wafs and strays which are the results of pampering by the parents. As a parent, we must act proportionately towards our children that one learns through difficulties and experiences. We need to let our children develop and grow progressively, independently, and responsibly into well-matured adults.
Most parents, pamper their children unintentionally. If a child cries for a small candy or toy they buy it for him in any way to stop his crying. This reinforces the child’s behavior. Pampering creates belief in children, that people around them should bring their needs and wants. Even I have seen many parents thronging at candy shops to bring hefty candies for their children to stop their cries which later creates a belief that everything is possible for them. Such children at the age of adulthood become hated. Another widespread of many parents is that when a child asks for some help while doing homework, the parents end up doing the entire homework for the children. This is an example of excessive care. Children who are over-pampered by their parents develop a disrespectful attitude towards others. Parents need to understand their wards’ requirements and accordingly provide them with things that are necessary. Make them learn to do things by themselves.
Pampering can have serious repercussions on the personality and character of a child, which later on, puts them at a crossroads. Instead of that, we must correct their mentalities in raising a child. As a result of pampering there also exists a psychological syndrome seen in the children called pampered child syndrome. Those children suffering from this always feel demotivated. They understand that there is no need to make an effort to get what they want.
To put in succinctly, the pampered child becomes a hated child due to their actions just after attaining adulthood. So love them as per the demand.
The author is a teacher by profession and hails from Sonannar, Lolab. He can be mailed at farhaanqysar@gmail.com
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