by: Dr. Rizwan Rumi
In the rush of life, between the obligations of work, social gatherings and familial expectations, one fundamental responsibility often gets overshadowed—the responsibility of protecting and nurturing our children’s self-respect. A child’s confidence, their ability to face the world and the way they perceive themselves, all stem from how they are treated at home—especially by their own parents.
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Your Children’s Dignity Should Never Be Compromised
As parents, we often underestimate the power of words spoken in jest during family events or friendly gatherings. Harmless teasing or public reprimands might seem insignificant to adults but for a child, especially during their formative years, these moments can leave lasting scars.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) suggests that children’s self-esteem begins to develop as early as age five and is heavily influenced by their parents’ behavior. When parents allow others to belittle or mock their children, even under the guise of humor, it can deeply damage a child’s self-worth and erode their sense of security.
Respect Begins at Home
When you laugh off or ignore offensive remarks about your child, you unknowingly send them a message that their feelings don’t matter. Even worse, if you agree with such negative remarks—“Yes, he is like that” or “She never listens anyway”—you unintentionally validate someone else’s criticism over your own child’s emotional well-being.
Instead, choose to respond with grace and strength. If someone mocks your son or daughter, counter with kind yet firm words that reinforce your child’s worth. “He’s still learning, but I’m proud of his efforts,” or “She has her own unique way of doing things and that’s what makes her special.” These affirmations not only deflect negativity but also teach your child how to handle criticism with dignity.
Never Discipline Publicly
One of the most damaging things a parent can do is scold or punish their child in front of others. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that public reprimands significantly increased anxiety and feelings of shame in children, which can hinder their social development and academic performance.
Correcting a child’s behavior is important—but timing and privacy matter. Discipline should always be constructive, not humiliating. If your child makes a mistake, wait until you’re in a private setting to address it with calmness and empathy. Not only does this preserve their dignity, but it also encourages open communication and trust.
Be Their Safe Place
Children must know that their parents are their strongest allies. This doesn’t mean ignoring their flaws—it means guiding them with love, especially when they falter. Think of it like scaffolding around a building under construction: the support doesn’t change the structure’s design, but it makes sure it grows tall and strong.
Be the person your child feels safe turning to when they’ve failed. The world outside can be cruel and critical; let your home be the place where they find comfort, courage and the strength to try again.
Small Moments, Lasting Impact
Every interaction counts. Children are constantly observing and internalizing what they experience. A mother rolling her eyes at her son’s answer, a father joking about his daughter’s appearance in front of relatives—these incidents might be forgotten by adults within minutes, but for the child, they linger.
Dr. Laura Markham, a renowned clinical psychologist, emphasizes in her parenting research that children who feel emotionally supported by their parents grow up to have higher emotional intelligence and resilience. The small moments of validation, defense, and private correction form the foundation of their mental health.
In a World Full of Critics, Be Their Advocate
In today’s digital age, where children are already exposed to peer pressure and online scrutiny, parental support is more crucial than ever. According to a 2023 UNICEF report, cyberbullying and online harassment have reached alarming levels among preteens and teenagers. Children who feel unsupported at home are more vulnerable to the psychological impacts of such negativity.
Therefore, it is vital for parents to be vigilant—not just about protecting their children from outsiders, but also from the subtle emotional injuries that can occur within their own circles. Your defense, your reassurance, and your quiet guidance are what fortify your child’s confidence.
Let us raise children who are not afraid to speak, to try, and to fail—because they know that their worth is not measured by a slip-up or a stranger’s words. Let us be their voice when they’re silent, their strength when they are weak, and their comfort when they’re hurt.
Because long after they’ve grown and left the nest, the memory of a parent who stood up for them will remain one of the most powerful pillars of their self-belief.
The author can be mailed at rizwanroomi2012@gmail.com
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