Every year, the International Day of Older Persons reminds us of something simple yet deeply important: we must respect and care for our older persons. They may be our fathers, mothers, grandfathers, grandmothers, relatives, neighbours or other elderly people in our society and locality. Their presence carries experiences, memories and lessons that cannot always be found in books or on the internet.
Whenever I get the opportunity to meet or interact with an older person, I experience a different kind of feeling. Their conversations often make me curious to know more about how they lived their lives, how they faced difficulties and how they managed their families and relationships. There is an innocence in many of their stories, a simplicity in their words and a purity in the way they remember the past. They belong to a generation that lived without the internet, smartphones and the rush of today’s life. Their world was different. Communication was slower, families were often closer, and spending time together was a natural part of everyday life.
Many of them grew up in joint families where grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents and children lived under the same roof. Family members shared responsibilities, meals, celebrations, difficulties and happiness. Children grew up surrounded by elders, listening to their stories and learning from their experiences. Today, the picture has changed considerably. Nuclear families have become common. People are busy with work, education, social media and other responsibilities. Even when family members live together, everyone can sometimes be occupied with their own screens and schedules. A person may sit in the same room with their family and still be connected more to the digital world than to the people around them.
This is why the International Day of Older Persons gives us an opportunity to pause and think about what we may be losing. For me, this day also brings back memories of my own grandparents. I remember my maternal grandmother giving me ₹100 or ₹500 secretly and saying, “Kisi ko batana nahi.” At that age, perhaps I did not understand the value of that moment. Today, when I look back, I realise that those small gestures were much more than money. They were expressions of love. They were memories. They were blessings.
Our grandparents and elders often gave without expecting anything in return. Their intentions were simple. Their happiness was often connected to seeing children and grandchildren happy. A small gift, a prayer, a piece of advice, a story or simply a hand placed on our head could carry a meaning that we understand much better as we grow older. Perhaps this is why older persons are treasures for families and society.
They have witnessed different stages of life. They have seen changes in technology, education, transportation, family structures and social relationships. Many have lived through periods when resources were limited and life demanded greater patience and cooperation. Their experiences can teach younger generations about resilience, relationships, responsibility and gratitude. We often talk about learning from books, teachers and the internet. However, there is another source of knowledge standing quietly around us: our elders.
Ask an older person about their childhood and you may hear a story about a completely different Kashmir. Ask them about festivals, weddings, village life, traditional food, agriculture, crafts, family customs or childhood games, and they may open a window into a past that younger generations have never experienced. These conversations are valuable because memories disappear when they are not shared. An elderly person may remember how people helped each other during difficult times, how neighbours knew one another, how children played outdoors for hours and how families gathered together without needing a digital invitation. They may remember names, places and traditions that are slowly disappearing from everyday life.
We should listen to them. Listening is also a form of respect. Sometimes older persons do not need expensive gifts. They may simply need someone to sit with them, ask how they are doing, listen to their stories or spend some time drinking tea together. A short conversation can make someone feel remembered and valued. As society changes, the responsibilities of families also change. Children and adults have education, employment and other commitments. However, being busy should not mean becoming emotionally distant from our elders. Caring for them is not merely a responsibility; it is also an expression of gratitude for everything they contributed to our families. The people who once held our hands when we were learning to walk may one day need us to hold their hands. The people who stayed awake when we were sick may one day need us to stay beside them. The people who celebrated our smallest achievements may need us to celebrate their presence.
This is where dignity becomes important. Older persons should not be treated as a burden. They deserve respect in family decisions, access to healthcare, emotional support, safety and the freedom to live with dignity. We should also remember that not every elderly person has a family around them. Some live alone. Some have lost their spouses. Some may have limited financial resources. Some may experience loneliness even while living among people. Therefore, our responsibility extends beyond our own homes. We can check on an elderly neighbour, help someone cross the road, assist an older person with a task, speak respectfully or simply ask whether they need anything.
Small acts of care can have a lasting impact. The International Day of Older Persons is therefore more than a date on the calendar. It is a reminder to look around us and recognise the people who helped build the families and communities we live in today. If you have old parents, grandparents or other elderly persons in your family, respect them. Care for them. Listen to them. Spend time with them. Do not wait for a special day to remind them that they matter. Perhaps they are among the last generations who experienced a slower, simpler and more closely connected way of life. Their stories carry memories of a world that is changing rapidly.
One day, we may miss their voices. We may wish we had asked more questions. We may want to hear that same old story again. But they may no longer be there to tell it. So, while we still have the opportunity, let us sit with them, listen to them and learn from them. Let us give them the dignity, affection and respect they deserve. Because our elders are not simply people from our past. They are living memories of our families, our communities and our changing society. And sometimes, the greatest treasures in our lives are the people we realise the value of only when we look back.
