Splitting up isn’t easy. Entire novels and thesis have been written on it. And when children are involved, divorce can be an especially sensitive situation. Separation is a highly stressful and emotional experience for everyone involved, but children often feel that their whole world has turned upside down. At any age, it can be traumatic to witness the dissolution of your parents’ marriage and the breakup of the family. Kids may feel shocked, uncertain, or angry. Some may even feel guilty, blaming themselves for the problems. It interrupts the stability and predictability that children need. Other than the death of an immediate family member, divorce is the most stressful event that can affect a family. Children may fear being abandoned or losing their parents’ love. Also, for many reasons, parenting skills often worsen around the time of the divorce. Parents are usually preoccupied and may be angry and hostile towards each other. If parents ignore children or visit sporadically and unpredictably, children feel rejected. Research has suggested divorce can affect children socially, leading them to antisocial behavior, mentally and academically.
Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families. In addition, they may also experience more conflict with peers and loss of faith in marriage and family units, and engagement in risky behavior such as substance abuse and early sexual activity. While children go through a divorce, unresolved conflict may lead to future unexpected risks. Research has shown children who have experienced divorce in the previous 20 years were more likely to participate in crimes, rebelling through destructive behavior which harms a child’s health, with more children reporting they have acquired smoking habits or prescription drug use. Decreased contact affects the parent-child bond and according to a paper published in 2014, researchers have found many children feel less close to their fathers after the divorce. Changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent who feels a little more frazzled are just a few of the additional stressors that make divorce difficult. Financial hardships can also ensue. The bottom line is we need to make wise choices in our lives for the betterment of ourselves and our children so that we don’t have to regret it later!
