by Tamana Liaket
Every person is different from another. That is how the world works. Everyone’s life is not the same and not as easy as it seems. Some people carry their battles in public, while others fight silently behind closed doors. But make no mistake, everyone is fighting to survive. Likewise, aspirants preparing for competitive exams are also struggling every single day. They are surviving on hope, caffeine, and deadlines. They fight self-doubt before breakfast and anxiety before bed. Their entire future feels like it hinges on one exam, one rank, one result.
So the real question is this: Why is everyone interfering in their lives? Why don’t people understand that aspirants are already under crushing pressure? Why do relatives, neighbors, and even distant acquaintances feel entitled to pass comments, compare, and predict failure?
To all those relatives who don’t mind their own business, I have a humble request: Please let every aspirant live and fail on their own. If you can’t help them, don’t pull them down either. If you cannot encourage, then at least don’t discourage. All aspirants are already struggling with their studies, their finances, and the weight of family expectations. Kindly, mind your own business. This interference is not harmless “concern.” It is poison. And it doesn’t just affect the aspirant — it damages your own children too. Many parents use their children as tools to compete with others. They ignore what their child actually wants, what their skills are, and what makes them happy. In this blind race, two lives are destroyed: the aspirant who is compared, and the child who is forced. The consequences are not emotional they are fatal.
The numbers tell a story we can no longer ignore:
- A 2025 report by the IC3 Institute found that student suicides have risen at a rate of 4% annually over the last decade. That’s double the 2% rise rate of overall suicides in India.
- NCRB 2023 Data: The National Crime Records Bureau reported a slight rise in total suicides, with student suicides remaining alarmingly high. The triggers? Academic pressure, family expectations, and financial stress.
- Coaching Hub Crisis: In Kota, Rajasthan — India’s most famous coaching hub — studies reported a record 28 to 32 student suicides in 2023 alone. That’s nearly 3 students every month.
- Demographics: Over 80% of these suicides occurred among students aged 15–20 years, predominantly males. In specialized studies, NEET aspirants made up over 70% of the cases.
- Timing: Research shows a clear spike in suicides during August and September. This coincides with intense exam preparation cycles and result announcements — the exact period when taunts like “Sharma ji ka beta dekho” peak.
Beyond suicide, other ill effects of this interference include reduced self-confidence, heightened anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and a sadistic culture where people actually wait for an aspirant to fail so they can say “I told you so.”
Interference at Every Point
Exam day is already a battlefield for every aspirant who has poured months, even years, into preparation. The mental fatigue after a 3-hour paper is real. But the moment an aspirant steps out, the real damage begins, not from the exam, but from the phone calls. ‘Kaisa gaya paper?’ ‘Iss baar hojayega na?’ ‘Kitna score aaya?’ Bla Bla Bla…
Relatives fire these questions without a second thought for the aspirant’s mental health. The same people who stay silent all year suddenly remember their “concern” on exam day and result day. Why? I ask: Why this selective interference? Why do relations only surface when there’s a score to judge? This isn’t concern. It’s pressure disguised as care. And it destroys more confidence than any failed mock test ever could.
If you truly want to favour the journey of an aspirant, here’s how:
- Let them fail, fall, and learn on their own. Failure is a teacher. Don’t steal that lesson.
- Appreciate little efforts. A chapter completed, a test attempted — these are wins. Acknowledge them.
- Notice mini improvements. “You studied 1 hour more today” matters more than “Top karoge?”
- Put positive vibes in their life. Send food. Pay for a book. Or just say nothing and let them rest.
- Stop comparing them with others. Your child is not “Sharma ji ka beta.” They’re their own person.
- Stop making them feel useless while others are winning. Everyone’s timeline is different. Success isn’t a race.
Support doesn’t need advice. Sometimes, silence is the loudest form of love. So to all the aspirants reading this: You are battling every day. Keep battling, because you are going to reach your destiny. Don’t take people around you seriously. Let them talk. that’s what they’re meant to do. There’s a line that sums it up perfectly: “Loug kya sochenge jab woh be hum he sochenge, tou phir loug kya sochenge.”
Give yourself so much time to improve that you have no time left to think about others. When you’re busy building your life, their opinions become background noise. Ultimately, your pace will not die down. You should have no time for swooning over criticism or comparison. Life presents infinite opportunities when you work honestly. Be patient with your progress. Growth is slow, but it is certain.
In this journey, never ever be an ‘intermediate’. Being stuck in the middle, not fully committed, not ready to quit, will only waste your prime years. Either work very hard to achieve your goal, or give up on it with dignity and excel in some other field. Choose one. But leave the intermediacy. Half-hearted effort gives full-hearted pain. At last, to every aspirant who feels alone tonight: Your struggle is valid. Your stress is real. Your dream is worth it. Keep going. Wishing you all a happy and successful journey ahead. You’ll make it, on your own terms.
Author is a NEET aspirant. She can be mailed at vanitamana908@gmail.com
