It is quite obvious that publicly writing, speaking poorly about someone’s body is very unkind, mean and unbecoming of a lady or a gentleman. Period. Now let’s be honest to ourselves and ask ourselves has any such tought crossed our mind while seeing, meeting a celebrity, relative, friend or acquaintance after a long gap? The answer is big YES.
Have we have conveyed similar opinion (or concern) in past to people in private, public? The answer is YES again. Have we have been subjected to such opinion, concern in past? The answer is YES yet again.
So lets admit that such feelings do comes to us naturally, we are designed to notice such physical changes (in the very first glace) and to judge (in our mind), its natural. The first thing we do after seeing someone is analyse and make an opinion about him/ her in our mind, which is nothing but judging, and it is absolutely natural, irrespective of we admit it or not.
Now coming to wheather or not to convey? It is quite evident that our modern education, conditioning, new found social values and desire to be seen as a urban, formal, official, mature, classy, gentle, polite, kind, cultured or woke person stop us from conveying it directly. I feel, if we mean well and we feel concerned and close enough to convey it we should convey it, that is more natural and obvious. On the other hand, hiding such an obvious and instant observation is artificial, not genuine, and not so us.
Now coming to the celebrities. Tell me honestly do all public figure earn all their appreciations or fan follwing for their professional competence? The answer is NO. Many of their fans like them just because of their good looks, style and appearance, irrespective of educational qualification, academic achievements, talent or professional competence of the celebrity. Many become obsessed with looks of the public figures. And the public figures enjoys all of it fully. They loved being called “the national crush”, “most handsome”, “hot”, “cute”, “sexy”, “Greek God”, “angle”, “He-Man” and what not. Even the PM, his staff, his supporters and we all are ok with women admiring him for his skin tone. They welcome it all, when people appreciate them only for their looks, irrespective of their work/ skills/ educational, competence.
The craze or obsession among the fans continues but not the looks of the celebrity, with age they start looking differently. When fans suddenly discovers the drastic change, they genuinely get shocked, surprise and most importantly disappointed.
To bring in a real exampe with absolute honesty, while growing up, we brothers were big fans of the Hollywood star, Arnold Schwarzenegger mostly because of his body, we even had a poster of his (of Cammando movie) pasted in our room. After so many years when we saw a photo of old Arnold with a fragile looking body by a beach somewhere, we got individually disappointed and sad. Further we shared the photo among ourselves and discussed our feelings on it. So, was it so bad on our part to discuss someone’s body and feel betrayed? Our admiration and expectations were so strong that we couldn’t accept the natural change with age. I don’t think it was an unkind or cruel act. It was our heart break moment. Yes, if we would have conveyed it in an unkind manner on a public domain, it would have been poor on our part, but still would have been an act of immaturity.
I strongly feel, a public figure who has enjoyed all those appreciations and obsession only for their good looks/ body should be ready to take unkind comments for their body, looks in future, its a package, they both are part of it. One cannot just cherish the first part and behave “woke” when it time for the second part.
Now to analyse it for both the genders. Its not about women alone. I am a dark skined man. Has grown up being called “Kalu”, “Kalia”, “Adivasi”, “Negro”, “African” and what not. One of my childhood hero, Ravi Sashtri, as coach of the Indian Cricket team had been trolled for his belly size, surpringly there was no support from any media house then for him. Many rather enjoyed those trolls directly or indirectly; in public or in private.
So has been the case with Akshay Kumar, Salman Khan, Suhail Khan, Karan Johar, Amir Khan, Shahrukh Khan and many more male celebrity. We, including media somehow feels, its ok when it is concerning men. But in case of women, every time there has been a strong defence and lectures. Has anyone these days noticing any dark or fat man in any of these newsrooms? Answer is NO. Aren’t women news reader leveraging their good looks and style to rise in popularity and career? Answer is YES.
So we as a nation cannot keep indulging in the obsession with good looks and suddenly, individually and selectively, start taking offence of an incidents. I feel, if one feels “Body Shaming” is bad, he should not be welcoming “Body Admiring” also.
Finally, I am bringing it back to me. If a friend meets me after 10 years and doesn’t says “tu toh mota ho gaya hai” or “tere toh baal safed honey lag rahe hein”, then how come he is a friend? And if I can’t tolerate this genuine, natural, pure, innocent and affection coated reaction from him, what kind of a friend am I? So, I find nothing wrong in them and I, very strongly feel, I shall make serious efforts to continue living in a society or circle where no body takes offense of such well meaning, light comments or concerns conveyed in private and shall happily allow other to make similar comments on me.
Thanks for reading it all along and thereby making my desire of expressing myself (on this issue) reach its point of culmination.
