Dear, expect least from anyone in order to save yourself from getting hurt” advised, Dr Muzaffar Ahmad, my cousin, friend, philosopher and guide, as we sat down together for a lunch one day, at our home in the countryside. “True happiness in your heart will boost your concentration; you will find that you are able to study better. Also bear in mind that study needs sacrifice and should be the ultimate focus of your attention.” These were still my student days, and who could have been a better guide to me than Dr. Muzaffar, who was widely respected throughout our family for his sweetness, humility, wit and humane approach to life and other matters. Years back, we would impatiently await Dr. Muzaffar’s (Dr. Sahib’s) arrival at our home every Sunday. While he was studying medicine, he would visit our home on weekends. As soon as he arrived, I would come to him with my school bag, open my books, and on the advice of my Dad, the class test would start. I remember Dr. Sahib would religiously observe my academic progress and teach me many things. He continued to do so as I grew older. He would tell me fascinating stories about Medical College. I certainly absorbed my interest in the medical profession from him and, eventually, I too studied medicine. After his house job, Dr. Sahib was posted at Gurez.
At that time, getting to Gurez was a Herculean task. To travel there, you had to book a seat on an old military vehicle called a “One ton” 10-15 days before traveling. The journey itself was fraught with dangers and difficulties. There were the high speed winds blowing at Razdan top (high mountain pass at 11,600ft above sea level), to contend with, rough snow –covered roads, and day-long travel in the said vehicle itself, which was always packed with passengers and foodstuffs. It was a long, tiring journey. Dr. Sahib happily joined the Primary Health Center Dawar, the central township in Gurez having a population of around 30,000 scattered among 15 villages. In those days there were very few telephone lines in Kashmir and booking a trunk call would take hours, hence making such a phone call used to be an almost impossible dream. The only reasonably reliable way of communication used to be letters sent by post.
Dr. Sahib regularly wrote from Gurez. In the summertime, the postman would bring a letter from him every 6 to 8 weeks. However, we would count ourselves lucky if a letter written in the winter reached us in the spring or summer of the same year! His letter would bring immense joy to all the family. Each one was always full of advice and wisdom. It was my task to read the letter, first in English, and then to translate it for other family members. Months later, when at last he came home, we would hang on his lips as he told us one story after another about his travels.
“Ibrahim! Traveling to Gurez is challenging, especially in winters. At Razdan top, the wind howls, but once you reach Gurez, the beauty of the countryside mesmerizes you”, he told me. “Walking along the banks of the Kishanganga2 is especially enjoyable, and it is amazing to see how the trout fish skims like umber shades through the undulating weeds,” he continued. But I must tell you a story. One day it so happened that at around 5 pm, after my duty hours, someone knocked at the door of my wooden quarters. I immediately lowered the flame of the kerosene stove to reduce its noise, as I was preparing tea, and I came out. A young man dressed in woolen phiran( a loose upper garment loosely gathered at the sleeves which tend to be wide, made of either wool or jamewar which is a mixture of wool and cotton) stood there. “Doc!” He said, “my father is ill and he is not in a position to come here. Would you mind paying a visit to our home?” he asked politely.”
“I immediately packed my clinic bag and informed the pharmacist where I was going. I headed to their home on foot with the young boy. Making our way with some difficulty through the dense forest, the fragrance of the pine trees was refreshing, and after an hour or so, we reached their home. It was quite some distance away, somewhere near Baktur, the lush green area in the outskirts of Dawar. At the entrance of their home, I carefully bent my head to avoid banging it on the low door and entered their wooden home. They welcomed me warmly. I examined his father and found a deep bed sore on his body. Apparently he had suffered a stroke (Problems with circulation of the brain that lead to weakness of any side of the body and making a person unable to move) a few months ago and had been bedridden since then. I dressed his wound and explained the necessary precautions to them. Soon, to my surprise, several more patients came pouring into the room to seek my advice. Dusk had come and gone, and it was starting to get dark. An old graceful man with a forward stoop entered the room where I was sitting, “Doc! I am the brother of your patient, and it will be an honor to host you tonight in our home, for it is too late for you to go home now”, he said. Ibrahim, I was immensely touched by his words, and I decided to stay for the night,” said Dr. Sahib. “At dinner they brought fragrant rice, large beans which were quite a lot larger than the ordinary beans that we usually take, and tasted superb, and pieces of delicious roast lamb. It was indeed a wonderful dinner.
A single electric light bulb hanging from the low line roof was struggling at its best to provide enough shine but one could very well see its zigzag coils. However, the affection of the family was overwhelming, as if we all were having the standard candle light dinner. No sooner had we had dinner, then the meagre electricity supply went off and they lit the kerosene lantern. (Lalteen in Kashmiri language. The wick imbibes kerosene from a pot beneath and on burning it emits light) After an enjoyable hour or so of chat with the family, it was time to sleep. There was perfect silence and the only sound one could hear in the distance was that of the flowing water of the Kishanganga, as if some expert musician was playing the santoor (Trapezoid shaped musical instrument). It was very soothing and with this sound in the background, I soon fell asleep and slept like a log. In the early morning I was awakened by the enchanting songs of birds, and soon after a breakfast of maize cornbread, butter and Kashmiri tea, I was ready to leave.
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One of the patient’s younger brothers accompanied me back” Dr. Sahib continued his tale. “Doc! Look at the Habba Khatoon mountain! It still tells tales of pure love. All you need is to have a sincere heart and a set of pure ears.” The young man said. He went on: Doc! You know that emperors like Yousuf Shah Chak (ruler of Kashmir between 1579 to 1586 AD) were mesmerized by the beauty and poetry of a poor girl, with no aristocratic lineage” and he went on to relate yet another interesting story.
Ibrahim! I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed his company on the way back! He seemed to have acquired an education from nature rather than from school masters. In his company, I was struck again by the words of the poet Wordsworth, when he says that nature is the best teacher and guide. It seemed that in no time I was back at the hospital again, where patients had flocked in in my absence. I was all set to start my routine again. Gurez is beautiful, but alas it has poor facilities. There was a scarcity of essential food items, and water. Let me tell you Ibrahim, on many occasions I had to walk long distances from one place to another in order to treat a patient. Occasionally, during the winter, I would go on horseback” he went on. He told me many things about his tough times at Gurez,all the while praising the natural beauty of this lovely valley. The hardships he described send shivers down my spine even now when I think about them again, but his positive approach to life had made it a rich experience for him.
In those days Iran used to hire doctors, and while Dr. Sahib was on vacation, he received a selection letter from Iran. He accepted the offer and moved to Iran to take up his new assignment. In Iran he met his dream girl. As the saying goes, “Marriages are settled in heaven and celebrated on earth.” Anyway, Dr. Sahib married Dr. Shohreh Shakeri, who is Iranian. It was as if the Iranian job offer had contained a concealed love letter as well! This marriage has been a blending together of two human souls, despite differences of language and origin. Their marriage has demonstrated the force of goodness in the basic human character, and also the force of love, where unique human feelings overcome all barriers.
Our correspondence continued from Lahijan, Sanadaj and Tehran, the beautiful cities of Iran. I have preserved all his letters, which are full of wisdom and guidance. You may laugh, but initially I would copy each of my letters sent to him for my records, but later I started using carbon paper to do so. Life is not a bed of roses and smoothness. The music of the ink in those wonderful letters from him sing of rhythms of pleasure, as well as sadness, and relate eventful periods in our lives. All those letters could be said to be inscribed on the walls of my heart. To safeguard those precious letters, I have preserved the hard copies for more than two decades now. One summer while on his annual vacation, he narrated a very interesting incident that he had experienced in Iran.
Ibrahim! “I had been provided with a beautiful villa by our hospital while I was working in Lahidjaan. The area was known to be inhabited with non-poisonous snakes called “Kar Mar” (deaf snakes) in the local language. Security personal on campus were vigilant about them. One day it so happened that, while sipping tea with my family, I caught a glimpse of a snake attacking a mouse.
Within a fraction of a second, the mouse’s head was in the snake’s mouth. But the snake seemed to be smaller, weaker and younger. Then suddenly another rather stronger, better-fed and more experienced-looking snake appeared on the scene. It snatched the struggling mouse from the first snake, who quickly slithered away. The poor mouse’s struggles ceased almost at once. While the snake was enjoying its stolen meal in a leisurely manner, the security personnel reached the spot. The half-eaten mouse fell out his mouth. A single stroke of an iron bar on its head put an end to the snake’s meal and its life and it lay there, completely still.” Dr. Muzaffar went on thoughtfully. “Ibrahim! You cannot imagine what an important lesson I learnt from this incident. I still think about it from time to time. Even though the weak snake lost its prey he ultimately escaped from the fate meted out by the security guard’s iron bar. It made me realize that although life may seem hard at times, it’s quite possible that God wants to preserve you for something special. What one thinks is good may in reality be bad and vice versa. Yes, it’s true that all that glitters is not always gold. In addition, it made me think that we observed how a helpless being seem tyrannical to another, who in his way, is equally helpless. Just as every creature in creation is helpless before God, which is what Moulana Rumi described centuries ago. Ibrahim, let me tell you, selfishness is one of the worst and dangerous traits one can ever have! Never be selfish in life,” he concluded. It was as if he was reading pages from the book of nature.
Dr. Sahib restarted his medical education after a gap of more than 15 years and went to the Kasturba Medical College in Manipal in the southern Indian state of Karnataka. He successfully completed his MD in Medicine. All his friends and relatives suggested that he should join some hospital in Saudi Arabia or somewhere like that and settle down. Dr. Sahib paid the highest degree of polite attention to all the “unwanted advice”, but it was difficult to get him under control for he had firmly fixed his mind on becoming “The Neurologist’’. He consequently joined the neurology program of the Sir Ganga Ram Hospital in New Delhi. Dr. Shohreh left her Iranian job and came down to live in the prickly heat of New Delhi. Education was the goal of that whole charming family. All the options for earning a lot of money and living a luxurious life were available to them but they preferred to carry on educating themselves. In the end, long term goals like these are infinitely superior to projects which lead to short term benefits. It is not secret that education is an important tool for ultimately attaining success.
In 2001 I had the great pleasure of joining Dr. Sahib at the Sir Ganga Ram hospital in New Delhi when I joined the said hospital as senior resident in Gastroenterology. I was privileged to observe his professional life there. I stayed in their home at Rajindhar Nagar New Delhi for more than two months, while I waited for my own hospital accommodation. Dr. Shohreh, his wife, despite her elegant background, left no stone unturned to make me feel at home. She was very nice and caring. The wonderful thing about her personality is that she never says what she doesn’t mean, a rare thing nowadays. Her truthfulness is unparalleled. Every day at 5 pm we would return together from the hospital, and soon after we had taken tea at home, everyone (Dr. Sahib, his children and I) would start reading. It was the perfect library environment. Often, pushing his thick glasses onto his forehead and looking straight at me, he would advise me. “Ibrahim!” he would say, “make books your friends
and enjoy reading them, absorbing as much as you can of their content. Clarify your thoughts and concepts, and always work very hard.”
One day, as we were on our way home from the hospital, passing through the posh Rajinder Nagar Delhi streets, Dr. Sahib said to me, “Ibrahim, here’s another thought for you. Live a simple life and never compare yourself to or be envious of others. It’s always possible that the person to whom you are comparing yourself may not be as prosperous as you are, and may actually have less than what you have. You know about the “mirage effect” – what the eye perceives as a shimmering pond of water at a distance in a desert, is actually nothing more than light reflections on the horizon. Life is a game and struggle is the prize; be thankful to the Creator and never go on nagging.
This universe is an unfathomable secret, and no one can understand it fully.” So we continued talking and walking till we reached the gate of home. On weekends, we would often catch the overcrowded Delhi Transport Corporation bus No 410 /429 in order to visit Hazrat Nizamuddin’s Dargah (shrine). One day it happened so that good number of passengers got off the overcrowded bus and we found ourselves two seats away. “Ibrahim – remember this! Always carry a book with you, wherever you go. When you are lucky like this, and get a seat, you can open the book and start reading. Remember, time is a precious gift. Never waste it.” he said. “Instead of cursing your luck for the want of your own vehicle, acknowledge that in the bus you get an opportunity to read. That is the way to think about it.”
After prayers in the Masjid, we would have a meal in the restaurant next door. The warmth of our friendship had by this time melted all reserve, and we would keep up the conversation over our meal, enjoying our time together. Working with quite junior doctors in a very demanding hospital environment spoke volumes about Dr. Sahib’s zest for knowledge. During his tenure at the Sir Ganga Ram Hospital he was reputed to be a very good clinician, a highly cooperative team member and a well-read doctor, also one with great empathy and sympathy for his patients. I was preparing for my D.M entrance in those days and studying took up a lot of my time. Unfortunately, during that summer I just could not make it, and I was dropped from the list. My confidence was shattered, and for days on end I was unable to sleep at all. I must have looked dreadful, because I certainly felt terrible.
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“Ibrahim, just think about it. This is not the way to react, failure will not overtake you permanently if your determination is strong. Just accept it as a challenge. It appears that either you had not mastered the subject properly, or perhaps you don’t have good exam technique. Both are possible. This is not the end of the world,” he said gently. “Come on now – let us have a break.” And with that, he took me to a posh restaurant in Connaught Place in New Delhi. While we were sipping our coffee, he took out a piece of paper and started writing. “Listen,” he said, “Giving in to depression will take you nowhere. What you should do now is try to analyze what mistakes you committed in your previous test, and write those down. First focus on the subject itself, and on the topics you are finding difficult. Read those topics carefully, and go on revising them with your friends in the hospital. Then, think about your exam technique. I suggest you find a good article on the topic, read it very carefully, and apply what you have read there in your next test. I can’t help you, because in our time these MCQs were not used” he laughed. “Your coffee is getting cold”, I politely interrupted. He laughed again, quite loudly, and his laughter proved so infectious that I laughed too. The words he uttered to me that day made a great impression on me, and I could feel that his heartbeats were resonating with his tongue, so sincere was he. We ordered another cup of coffee. In between sips, he continued to talk and write simultaneously. After some time, we left the restaurant. It was pleasant to walk across Connaught Place as the sun had started setting and the prickly heat of the day was lessening in intensity. As we walked towards the place to catch the bus, he said, “Condition your brain to understand a given topic and make notes on it. Revise those notes near the time for the exam. At the end of the day, after work, take a break and have a nap at home in order to refresh yourself. Only then start reading up, always to a fixed schedule. Be regular in your study. Get up early in the morning in order to be at the hospital in time. If you get there early, you will find that you are able to perform your work there much better.
And remember there is no substitute for hard work! Remember what APJ Kalam said, “If you want to shine like the sun, first burn like the sun.”” A bus stopped, we boarded it, and soon we were back home. His pearls of wisdom proved to be true. Having followed his sound advice, the next winter I was selected for DM in Gastroenterology at PGI Chandigarh. One summer I had the privilege of travelling with him from Delhi to Srinagar. Once again, I enjoyed listening to him talk about his experiences. “Ibrahim!” he said, “never do anything in life that will make you feel guilty later. Remember, you cannot fool too many people for too much of the time. Ultimately people will see the man behind your mask, and, believe me, if that happens, you will not be able to look at your own face in the mirror,” he cautioned. We went on talking in this vein, laughing and cracking jokes continually during our day-long voyage until the early hours of the evening when the bus reached Jammu. It seemed to me that the tedious distance from Delhi to Jammu had shrunk and that day had turned into an enjoyable one. At Jammu we stayed in a pocket friendly hotel for the night and the next day at first light we continued our journey to Srinagar in a taxi. On the way, he recommenced his stories and his wise advice – what I call his “pearls”. “Ibrahim,” he said, “do what you are supposed to do and take virtue as its own reward.
At times you may be disappointed at the way in which people, one after another, behave towards you, but remember, one wrong does not justify another wrong. People may turn to you with their selfish faces; never let it disturb you. God will be with you.” He quoted Moulana Rumi, who said, “O’ Allah if you are with me let the rest of the world be against me, I am never alone” and “If O’ Allah you are not with me, even if the whole world is with me, I will still be lonely. “ At lunch time the taxi stopped near a restaurant on the Jammu-Srinagar highway and we went into the restaurant. A young boy with a partially wet towel on his shoulders came and cleaned our table in the corner of the restaurant. We ordered beans and rice, the famous recipe of highway restaurants. The boy jotted down our order on a chit. In a jiffy he had brought us two plates of rice and beans.
The fragrant rice was still hot and steaming. While we were waiting for it to cool down, he said to me “Ibrahim, life leaves little time for experiments. If, on any occasion, you realize that someone has deceived you, never let the person feel that you know what he has done. Be kind to him, as ultimately he is the loser and not you, because the greatest accountant is none but God. However, a word of caution must be given here. Allowing yourself to be cheated more than once becomes your mistake. Wise men have said, “Cheat me once, shame on you, but if you cheat me twice, shame on me!”. After our delicious lunch, we continued our journey. Pointing to the picturesque Jammu -Srinagar highway he said, “Look Ibrahim, life is short and we are all sentenced to death. Every day we move closer to the grave. So enjoy every genuine and good aspect of life, for instance, this journey we are making together, this moment of pleasure in each other’s company, while life goes on melting away. It is one’s approach to life that matters and nothing else,” he further elaborated.
His company had made the journey seem shorter and indeed wonderful. In the early evening both of us reached home. Dr. Sahib has been a constant source of inspiration to me – a very good mentor indeed. After his neurology training in Delhi he finally moved to the United Kingdom and is now Fellow of Royal College of Physicians United Kingdom (FRCP). He is working as a consultant neurologist in one of the prestigious hospitals of the National health services (NHS) at Birmingham. I found him to be an excellent example of perseverance and dedication. He is an inspiration, and a wonderful human being too! Having described his tough times and his unfailing zest for education, you will agree that education can be restarted at any age. Although financial security is one of the most important factors in one’s life, one should earn your living in an honest way. Do not let your peace of mind wander in search of wealth. Let wealth follow you rather than you follow wealth. This is possible only if you have talent, but if you do not use that talent it is an even greater sin. It is important to learn and appreciate the skill of time management and to work hard. Hard work doesn’t necessarily mean working day and night. Good work reflects your productivity and focus. It is the perfect practice that will make you perfect. It is very important that one realizes the importance of time, and the right decisions at the right times carry a lot of meaning and impact in one’s life. Experience is a comb which nature gives you when you have no hair, so learn from your own mistakes but don’t go on doing mistakes endlessly. In the beginning of your career, you may not be able to see your path clearly, so learn from people who have made it. Take advantage of a sincere person, your mentor, whom you trust. Utilize his experience to tread carefully on bumpy roads. Your mentor should be able to tell you bitter truths about yourself and the world, but simultaneously, he should not decrease your morale and confidence.
Never stop educating yourselves at any age, Friends! Overcome all hurdles to its completion. Remember: people like Bill Gates who dropped out of Harvard and yet achieved amazing things, are extremely rare. Common people need to have a formal education. However, your own psychology fuels your daring and your ambition. Enrich your thoughts with optimism, plan your career properly, and work for it meticulously. Inspiration alone is not enough! Learning is a continuous process, and it is known to be very good for the health of the brain. It is the only way to prevent dementia, the disease where age-related changes in the brain bring with them terrible consequences. Empower yourself with positive thinking and avoid negative people and negative thinking. As the old saying goes, it is better to be alone than in bad company.
Negative people will never allow you to dream big, and dreaming big is a stepping stone for higher actions in life. Neuroscientists have estimated that thousands of thoughts creep into one’s mind daily. Of these, negative thoughts have a greater impact on your psyche than the positive ones. Negative thinking is the enemy within. When there is a problem, analyze the given situation intelligently and look for solutions. Discuss your problem with intelligent and sincere friends and try to come up with options to solve it. If there are options for change, go ahead. In the event that there is nothing to be done, let your life go on peacefully. It is unwise to see the sawdust. Pray to God thus: “Almighty bless and give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to understand the difference.”
“When you go through a hard period,
When everything seems to oppose you,
When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute,
NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that thecourse will divert!”
– Moulana Rumi, The Essential Rumi
Author is a MD. DM (Gastroenterology) FACP, FACG Consultant Gastroenterologist & Associate Professor at Yenepoya University, Mangalore. He can be reached at ibrahimmasoodi@yahoo.co.in
